> I’ve come to the conclusion that my alarm clock is just not doing its job. I press ‘sleep’ more than four times each morning, and I keep waking up later and later than usual. So, I have decided to invest in the “Billy Mays Alarm Clock”. Yes, you are correct – this does not exist. Therefore, I will be the genius inventor of such a thing.

Just hear me out. If you have ever caught Billy Mays violently shouting at you through your television, advising you that this product, and this product alone, is the answer to every problem in your life, then you’re well aware of why his voice should be the key ingredient to every alarm clock.

Imagine you’re sleeping, and you’re having the sweetest dreams of frolicking through meadows… when, all of a sudden, Billy Mays is shouting at you “Wait!!! There’s more!!!” It seems so logical, right? Right. I know if I were woken up by this man screaming at me to buy unnecessary items, I would be up faster than you can say “OxiClean”.

This idea is still a floater, though. I have many ‘floaters’ like these, and most of the ‘floaters’ get lost in the depths of my mind. My mind is an enigma that needs a filter.

All I’m asking is for you to tell me how great of an idea this is.