These tests would be infallible. Every person, whose hearing has already taken its toll, would be given a hearing aid.

You may be asking what this prevents.

It prevents people, like myself, from having to deal with old farts over the phone who cannot hear or understand a word that is said. The entire situation began with one phone call…

Me: “Have your son go to the website and e-mail the attorney.”

Old fart: “Okay, okay… what is the website?!”

Me: “Roothlawyer.com”

Old fart: “WHAT!?!?!”

Me: “Rooth… L as in Larry, a-w-y-e, R as in red”

Old fart: “SAWYER?!?!?”

Me: “LLLLLAWWWYER.”

Old fart: “Okay. What else?”

Me: “DOT COM.”

Old fart: “DOM???”

This went on for over six minutes. Six minutes too long. I began a crazed laugh for a second and then quickly reeled myself back in. The ladies at work were trying to gather my reasoning for literally screaming into the phone. MY ears are still ringing.

The moral of the story is: Try not watching your M*A*S*H so loudly. The grand kids visiting need to conserve their hearing for the future, so they are not held responsible for every receptionist driven crazy.

The end.