On Simplifying Prayer

Previously posted on TinyLetter

Generous souls,

As always, thank you for lending my words your eyes, attention, and response. It means more than you know. Here is what my mind, like the sea, has been tossing about lately.

I saw a re-post the other day that was talking about prayer. Its content was something to the effect that God doesn’t change but we do. So, the way we pray has to change along with that. I sat with this for a while, trying to find what made me feel so uncomfortable with it. The conclusion I drew was that this feels like another song and dance or gymnastics routine when it comes to trying to find a connection with God. And this kind of thinking seems to only run rampant in Christian spheres. 

When I look at Islam, I see the act of daily prayer, repetitive and meaningful. 

When I look at Buddhism, I see the inward knowing and outward acknowledgment of beauty in all.

When I look at a pre-deconstructed Christianity, I see the young woman in me who felt found… yet was still searching to perfect what Christian leaders and, eventually, self still said was broken. 

Last week, I listened to an On Being podcast with Padraig O Tuama and Marilyn Nelson, both poets in their profession and in how they view the world. At one point, Padraig – also a theologian – talked about prayer. He had this to say:

I remember once being part of a group, and somebody – we were speaking about prayer, and somebody said, “My prayer is, I’d like to laugh again.” And there was such vulnerability, to say that to a roomful of people, “I’d like to laugh again.” I’d like to laugh again – five words. But there’s an entire life wrapped into those small five words. And the compassion and kindness in that room, that was prayer. And if we can treat it as if God’s listening, well then, we might find a way within which God is listening, because of what we’re creating in the room.”

When I heard Padraig say this, I sensed something ring so true. As humans, we have a tendency to overcomplicate everything around us. We are label fiends and compartmentalizing machines to even the simplest of things. But what if healthy religion is trying to do just the opposite? 

Could prayer be as simple as hitting a key on a piano or watching the leaves fall on an overcast day? Sitting down with a pet who finds safety in your presence? Laying down and reading with a child? Or as I experienced recently, sitting across from a friend and hearing them say, “I just want to be happy.” 

I think all of the above is prayer. I think there is beauty in Spiritual Disciplines, of course. But if Christians hold to the truth that God and Spirit are as vast and all-encompassing as we believe they are, then our prayer doesn’t need to “change.” We may show up as desperate or as happy or as silly – as simply as possible – and we will be heard, seen, and known. 

The incredible part of deconstructing Christian faith is how we get to see what we have been handed over the years, lay it down, and journey forward. Along the way, though, the familiar may be picked up again – it just looks a little different than it did before. I think it looks different because it finally fits. I believe many of us are turning away from methods that felt tiring, inconclusive, and often damaging. We are looking to see what fits us now. For me, deconstruction looks a lot like simplifying a faith that exhausted me. Prayer included.
 

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Namaste & Pumpkin Curry Soup
xo bre